Breathing Room

So every night I dread the hours between about 8:00 pm and 6:00 am because I know that they are not going to bring me any respite or even the slightest break. I am a person who very much needs alone time for at least an hour a day. Of course, why would anyone like this go and have three kids? I am asking myself the same question, believe me! But I just keep telling myself that the end is in sight, if still a ways off. That being said, I had a whole delightful hour to myself this morning when I arose before everyone and just did my thing - yay!

Last night it was getting to be time to settle the kids down and Kes went pretty much without a fight, probably because she had a nice jet bath. She likes it when we fill the tub full because then, as she says, she can swim. Hayden had not slept all day. He had had the sum total of about 4 minutes of sleep and I was puzzled. Lately he sleeps for at least a half hour at a stretch (yes, gone are the beautiful four hour stretches he was doing), but yesterday - nothing. Plus he had blown a big spaz during the day, which is rare. Then he threw another fit last night. I noticed that his cheeks were becoming hot little glowing circles of red and realized perhaps he was in pain from teeth. So I got out the trusty oral gel (yes I know we're not supposed to use it, but I use the barest amount and it just takes some skill to get it on their gums) and applied it to his little lower gums. While in there I could see two little translucent teeth through the gums, so I am really hoping that they plan to emerge within the next day or two. We topped it off with some Tylenol and then I hurriedly got ready for bed (all the while hearing him scream for his dad). I am not sure what it is about his father that he doesn't like, but he has had this reaction to him several times now. I can only speculate that his dad does not hold him or comfort him the way I do. It's hard for me, because I seriously do not want to be the only one who can comfort him in this house. A girl's gotta pee now and again - or bathe for that matter. Anyway, I will be testing him again tonight when I go out for a few hours with a friend.

I have informed Doug that as soon as his dad has come and gone (yes, we are having the onslaught of visiting in-laws), that I am going to Ferberize Hayden. Okay, maybe not because I am kind of anti-Ferber, but I told Doug he is going to have to cry it out a little so that we can get him used to comforting himself and sleeping in his own bed. I am not getting anywhere near the rest I need and often find myself praying for six o'clock to come, so I can just get up. I sleep on approximately one foot of the bed in the worst contorted positions and it is really taking a toll on my body. And then trying to rally the time and interest to go to a chiropractic appointment with an infant in tow, well another whole complaining blog there, believe me. So, I have downloaded an online book that has practical suggestions on sleep for little ones. I am determined to have him in line by the end of this year. I will prevail!

Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed co-sleeping with my kids...to a point. But my selfish self is just crying out for some peace at night and I am compelled to obey.

At least Hayden wasn't completely miserable all day yesterday - I got some video footage of him talking and cooing and laughing at me, while he was trying to turn himself over from back to front. It's way cute! And he continues to pound back the solid foods every night.

Kes is sitting near me right now reading a little book that I have read to her several times before bed. It's one of the Mercer Mayer books called "Just a Rainy Day" and she is "reading" it almost word for word! So cute! Hayden is still sleeping right now, too! Woo hoo!

I have noticed that Hayden prefers to be out and about, which suits me fine because I can satisfy my shopping urges that way. I don't blame him, really, for not wanting to be in this house - it's making me crazy, too. We have so much clutter everywhere that I am contemplating hiring a professional organizer to come and help me, because I don't even know where to start and it is just so overwhelming. Anyone out there want to come and help me? Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I am desperate! I need some breathing room!