Asbestos Awareness Week

Recently I was contacted by a lovely lady named, of all things, Heather. She had emailed me a plea through this blog to help get the word out about mesothelioma, a deadly cancer that is commonly caused by exposure to asbestos. Mesothelioma primarily attacks the pleura which is the outer lining of the lungs and the internal chest wall. It is a horrific disease that is painful and terrifying.

Wish I had the nerve to pull off platinum hair!

Three months after giving birth to her daughter, Heather was diagnosed with mesothelioma and was given just fifteen months to live. Wanting to give her daughter the chance to know her mother, she and her husband hunted for the best care they could find which led them to Boston's Brigham and Women's Hospital and Dr. David Sugarbaker, renowned thoracic surgeon. Today, Heather is a seven year survivor of mesothelioma who has dedicated her life to helping victims of this pernicious disease. I am happy to help her.

When Heather was a little girl, her father would come home from work with his coat covered in drywall dust. Drywall dust they now know contained asbestos. Whenever Heather worked outside the house she would wear her dad's coat and this is how her exposure to asbestos happened and why she was diagnosed with mesothelioma at such a young age. Heather is from the United States, where between 1999 and 2010 mesothelioma killed 30,000 Americans. I did a little search and found seven stadiums in the United States that will hold 30,000 people. Think of an entire stadium of people dying and the numbers are pretty sobering. Only about 40% of the people diagnosed with this terrible disease survive the first year. About 20% survive the second year but by year three the percentage has dropped to between 3% and 8%.* Thanks to Heather's aggressive approach to her treatment, she is still with us and her daughter has a Mom.

I decided to investigate the rates of this disease in Canada. It is equally as grim here.Our mesothelioma rate is one of the highest in the world and rising. Guess why? Up until recently we had most of the world's asbestos mines here in the Canada. Happily the last two mines, one of them the world's largest and ironically located in Asbestos, Quebec were closed down in 2011 (I'm guessing that's where the product got it's name from). But the damage has been done.

2.1 out of every 100,000 people in Canada are diagnosed with mesothelioma every year. Due to the latency rate of this disease being between 20 and 50 years, these rates will not fall any time in the near future and in fact will probably climb. By this I mean that the disease can appear anywhere from 20 to 50 years after your exposure to asbestos. This is why when you watch home renovation shows and they find asbestos in the walls, it is such a big deal and it is so expensive to deal with. Have you seen what they have to do to the house and what they have to wear? It is a disgusting lethal product, naturally occurring or not. Have you seen what the fibres look like? Head on over to Wikipedia and see. They look alien.

"In the good old days", not only was asbestos used in cement, insulation and other housing materials, it could also be found in shingles and siding and also paint. It is not surprising that it became popular to use because of it's properties. It had sound absorption, average tensile strength, was fire resistant and it was affordable. Chances are, if your house was built between 1930 and 1950, then it likely will contain asbestos in one form or another. As well, right into the 20th century as many as 4,000 household products contained asbestos in varying amounts. Disturbing news indeed.

Helping Heather get the word out is the least I can do. In Canada, cancer in general accounts for 30% of Canadian deaths each year. Of those 30%, mesothelioma (classified under lung cancer) plus breast, colorectal and prostate cancers make up over 50% of all cancers. I haven't yet looked up the stats for the US, but I'm sure it is just as bad or worse.

April 1st to 7th is Asbestos Awareness Week. Head over here and have a look at Heather's story and spread the word. And more importantly, donate. Give people like Heather a chance at treatment and survival. There's a good chance it could be someone you know.

To learn more visit www.mesothelioma.com

Just Chugging Along

It's been some time since my last update and I find I forget that I even have a blog. With ongoing problems with my back and not being able to sit for long, it created a problem indeed when it came to trying to produce a blog post.

However, the pain is subsiding and I am most grateful!

Basically the update is this: Hayden's feet are still determined to to turn back in and he will require surgery. We are planning to delay it until the Fall and attempt to do as much as possible to possibly avoid it. This involves physio, home exercise and returning to the boots and bar. I'm sad about this but he seems to accept it at this point. However, he forgets what it is like to sleep in the contraption, so we shall see!

Other than that, things are pretty good. We are all finally over this weird respiratory virus we got and it is desperately trying to be Spring in Vancouver!

Lewy Body Dementia Awareness Week

(click to make bigger)

This is an emotional post for me to write. How do I talk about this? How do I detach myself long enough to educate people about this devastating disease that is now insinuating it itself into my life and even more so, my parents' lives?

For most people who have known my dad for a long time, they will identify with him as being gregarious, active, vital and genuine and I hope this is how they will always think of him.

About four and a half years ago, my mom started noticing that my dad was having some memory issues. She wasn't the only one. People at his job had noticed too so it needed to be checked out. Not too long after that, he began to develop some movement difficulties. My Dad was referred to a neurologist and was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

For the next while his condition was treated as Parkinson's with medicine for movement disorders and he also took a medicine to slow the memory problems. It was suggested that he retire from his job as he worked around high voltages as an electrician for the local electric company.

In early Spring , my mother started noticing some major changes in Dad. This was during a major trip they'd taken to Australia earlier in the year. He was more often confused, his movement had slowed even more and he was at times "seeing things" that were either not there or his brain was mis-identifying objects. The symptoms worsened once they were home.

Mom was dissatisfied with the doctor that was tending to Dad's "Parkinson's". His bedside manner was undesirable and he was ONLY treating the movement disorder. She came into contact with the Senior Mental Health chapter near her and they arranged for an in home evaluation and a following meeting with the psychiatrist.

It was determined that Dad has Dementia with Lewy Bodies. He is 69 years old.

Most people hear the word "dementia" and automatically think of Alzheimer's, but this particular dementia differs from Alzheimer's in that it includes hallucinations and due to the movement disorder, falls. It differs because the patient can phase in and out of certain symptoms. That is to say, one day the patient may forget how to do something and the next day they may not. It also brings with it a bouquet of other issues, such as REM sleep disorder, excessive daytime sleepiness and restless leg syndrome. All of these things can have occurred before the actual diagnosis.

Lewy Body Dementia usually has a rapid progression and there is no cure for it. Commonly misdiagnosed as Parkinson's Disease, it used to be considered rare. It no longer is as it may potentially be the second most common subtype of dementia after Alzheimer's.

Because DLB has no cure, it gradually renders people incapable of tending to their own needs. Caregiving is thus very important and must be carefully managed over the course of the disease. Caring for people with DLB involves adapting the home environment, schedule, activities, and communications to accommodate declining cognitive skills and parkinsonian symptoms.

My goal at this time is to support my parents as much as I possibly can, both physically and emotionally and to educate people about this disease. Hug someone you love today because you never know what tomorrow may bring.


The Lewy Body Dementia Association has a full, comprehensive website devoted to this disease and have launched their awareness week today, running until October 16th.

Update on Hayden

I took Hayden to a follow up appointment on Monday with his orthopaedic surgeon and it has been determined that his feet are relapsing and he will need to go into casts again.

I can't say I am all that surprised because I had my suspicions way back in January when I noticed he was going up onto the toes of his left foot when he ran. At that time I took him in and when Dr. Pirani got him to run, he wouldn't do it! Of course. It was, however, decided then that he has "tibial torsion" in his left leg, which causes the foot to look turned in. The thing that DID surprise me was that his right foot is also relapsing. Didn't see that one coming.

Basically it just gradually got worse and I couldn't put off a visit to the ortho any longer. So sometime in November (hopefully) he will begin a six week course of casting, with them being changed every two weeks.

So what does this mean aside from the back trauma this is going to cause me? Well, his school will have to be notified so they can arrange for help for him. He will likely be in a wheelchair, so I'm not sure how the school will handle it as the school is not even remotely wheelchair accessible - it is 100 years old, after all! But we'll figure it out I suppose. There's a good chance Hayden will sort out how to walk in the casts because lots of kids have done so. But that will take a while for him, I'm guessing.

After the casting, it will be decided whether he needs to go into the boots and bar again (oh boy, don't even get me started on this one) or if he will require a tendon transfer surgery, which will require more casts.

I'll post another update once I have more information!

Book Review: The Crimson Rooms by Katharine McMahon

The Crimson Rooms by Katharine McMahon

A woman arrives from Canada on the doorstep of a family of grieving English women with more than a little surprise. The family is expected to accept what is before them and furthermore, support and welcome the situation.

In post World War I London where women are still struggling to make their mark in a male dominated world, Evelyn Gifford is fighting to become a lawyer. Having been given a slight opportunity to advance by the only law firm who will accept her, she soon finds herself embroiled in two important cases, one a sensational murder trial.

Along the way, while trying to understand the arrival of Meredith, who shares a shocking secret with her, she works to save one client and gain the trust of another; finds herself in a surprise love affair; and turns out to be a better sleuth than her male counterparts.

This story had me hooked right away. Not only do I absolutely love historical novels, but the added element of Canada (my home and native land) delighted me to no end. The story follows so many little rabbit trails and as you get to know Evelyn better, you realize she has a stronger constitution than she gives herself credit for, especially when learning how one can make the ultimate sacrifice for love.

In addition, you get a real feel for what women fought so hard for in the way of rights and equality; something that sadly still happens today. These women were the true trailblazers and paved the way for womankind worldwide.

I can't recommend this book enough and while I am sorry to say that this is the first book I have read by Katharine McMahon, it is a fault I intend to rectify immediately! (Good heavens, I've adopted the language of the book already!)

I very much appreciated the opportunity to read this novel and thank MotherTalk for giving me the chance to do so. Look for the the release on February 8, 2010. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! The following online book retailers will be carrying it:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Borders
Indie Bound

**I wrote this review while participating in a blog campaign by MotherTalk on behalf of G.P. Putnam's Sons / Riverhead and received a copy of the book to facilitate my candid review. Mom Central sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.**

Scala Bio-Fir Anti-Cellulite Shaper Wear

Okay Ladies, pull up a chair, grab a drink and listen closely. I am going to tell you about a product that I discovered recently and it's A-MAZING.

First off, I have no affiliation with this product or the company who sells it - I am merely a believer (can I get an AMEN?) This product is Scala Bio-Fir Slimming/Shaper Wear and it reduces cellulite. Did you hear that? REDUCES CELLULITE. Not only does it make you look terrific while you are wearing it, but it does a job for you at the same time!

I had passed by this little gem of a store in my neighbourhood many times and had noticed the sandwich board outside advertising this great product. I have purchased over the years a number of slimming garments only to be disappointed by them. They're too tight in the leg, or they roll funny or they are too hot. Everything Scala is not.

Here's how it works. Hot off the knitting machines in Brazil, the fabric these garments are made with contains tiny crystals (called Active Bio Crystals or Far Infrared Rays) that continuously massages your skin. The massaging action causes friction, stimulating blood flow at the skin level. The increased blood flow stimulates the body's lymphatic system which then melts away the subcutaneous fat layer and the toxins responsible for cellulite and the liquified fat is then disposed of by either the kidneys or liver. I am sure drinking extra water during this time would only help to flush away the waste faster.

Sandra Kesselman, who owns Noir Fashions - the sole distributor for Scala in Canada - waited for three months to get a Medical Device Establishment License from Health Canada to sell the shaper wear. To me, their approval was an indicator that it worked, but I had to try it for myself.



Approximately 6 weeks ago I purchased both the High Waisted Knee Length Slimming Panty (above) and the Slimming Legging. I began wearing the knee length one daily. Scala promises results in 30 days but I am here to tell you that I saw changes in the cellulite on my thighs in about two weeks! After one month of wear there is a definite difference. The dimpling and lumpiness is much reduced, in fact almost completely gone! In addition to that, the garment is extremely comfortable, breathable and there is no tightness or rolling in the leg. All versions have the rubberized waist band to prevent slippage and rolling.

I had given myself the goal of one year to exercise and get toned again and the plan was to get liposuction for the cellulite if my efforts hadn't helped in that regard. Scala has saved me the trouble and expense.

Considering what these garments do, you would expect to pay a premium for them but they cost about the same as regular girdles and shaper wear at department stores, with the prices running between $50-65 depending on the garment. To care for these garments, machine wash them but hang them to dry to preserve the lycra content. The crystals are unaffected by regular washing.

Currently at Noir Fashions, Sandra is carrying 6 products in this line, one of them for men.

I had to opportunity to ask Sandra a couple of questions about her involvement with Scala.

Heather:
How did you come to learn of the Scala Bio Promise Line?

Sandra:
I’ve being representing SCALA in Canada for almost 5 years now. I import and distribute the brand collection all over the country. We started with the outerwear and the traditional shapewear lines. In February 2009, they launched this new amazing line. It took us about 3 months to get the Medical Device Establishment License from Health Canada to distribute the product in the country.

Heather:
What benefits have you noticed from using these garments?

Sandra:
I'm wearing mainly the black legging as my uniform since I delivered my baby girl 4 month ago, and I can really testify that the product is amazing on improving circulation. I’ve got bad varicose veins from the pregnancy and they were very painful, after using the product for 2/3 weeks, I got much better, no pain and the appearance of the veins are much lighter. My legs were also very swollen from the pregnancy, I retained lots of liquid, I took my measurements and I lost one inch on my calf muscle area and 2 inches on my thighs after a month of wearing the product.

Heather:
What future products can we expect in this line?

Sandra:
I’m about to receive the posture bra and some pantyhose made with the same material.



Right now there is limited information on the internet about these awesome cellulite-busting undergarments and I just had to share my success and happiness with what they have done for me!

These fine products, along with many more fashionable Scala items can be purchased at:

Noir Fashion
3950 Main Street
Vancouver, BC
Phone: 604-628-9561
Fax: 778-737-1591

To contact Sandra either call her at the above number or email her at sandra@noirfashion.ca. She is very friendly and willing to answer any and all of your questions!

Go on, GIVE THEM A TRY!

Knit the Season, a Review

It's appropriate that the third installation in this series by Kate Jacobs would come to me now, when the weather is turning cold and holidays abound.

In August of 2008 I read the first novel, The Friday Night Knitting Club. Besides the fact that I am a knitting maniac, the characters just enraptured me and the ending left me quite bereft, to be honest.

That following Autumn, I had the privilege of reading and reviewing Knit Two, the second novel. Picking up the story five years later, Kate Jacobs wove a wonderful story of a group of characters, all attempting to "let go" in some way. My previous review is here. I also had the chance to see Kate Jacobs in person in January of this year at an event at a local knitting store, Urban Yarns, which was most thrilling to me!

And then we get to Knit the Season. Fast forwarding another few years, there are many exciting events and opportunities afoot and this time each character is now struggling with togetherness, with both family and friends. As with the previous two books, I did not want the story to end as these women have become friends to me.

I will venture to say that I found this book more painful to read than the last two. And by painful, I mean emotionally. Georgia Walker, a character who was lost to us in book one, was remembered in small vignettes in a variety of voices, some new to us. I found it very hard to read these flashbacks and not cry. In The Friday Night Knitting Club, Georgia was known to us, but we only got necessary snippets of her past. Kate Jacobs went one step further with Knit the Season and opened up some of the finer intimacies of Georgia's life. It was entirely fitting that she should still be the centrepiece of the story.

Put this book on your list for the upcoming holidays, either for yourself or friends and family. I'd love to think that this series could go on, but we shall see. Kate Jacobs has created some other great characters in her other novel, Comfort Food. Maybe we'll see what's happened to them next!

Sunday Scribblings #180

The thing with the tattoo was that it never stayed in the same place. Always roaming around on her body, surprising her with new locations and sometimes, new shapes. Often people would look at her in surprise and say "I didn't know you had a tattoo!" and she would have to try and pretend it wasn't real because she knew in a day or two it would be somewhere else, probably somewhere hidden, and explaining was just too hard.

One day something new happened. She arose at her usual hour and wandered to the bathroom to freshen up. Today the tattoo was plainly in sight on her left forearm and was in the form of a very lovely butterfly. As she inspected it lightly she felt a tingling in her arm around the outside of the tattoo. The tingling became more intense and warm as the skin began to pucker and then rise slightly as an actual butterfly took shape from her arm. The wings were so delicate and translucent in glorious colours. She searched her brain for what genus it might be but was at a loss. After some time, the tingling began to subside as the butterfly completely emerged from her arm, leaving only a faint imprint where it once was. It flapped its wings once and then lifted from her and headed for the open bathroom window. Something in her wanted to cry "don't go!" and she almost reached out her hand to it, but she thought better of it because she had noticed something new about herself.

She felt free.

******************************
Just a little short story for Sunday Scribblings. The theme was "Tattoo". I guess you can figure out that the tattoo wasn't a tattoo at all. I wonder who can guess what it really was?

Daniel X - Watch the Skies

I have had the privilege of reading the second Daniel X (Watch the Skies) book in a new series by James Patterson. I read and reviewed the first book almost exactly one year ago and I can honestly say the sequel does not disappoint.

If you are looking for a lively, fun, action-packed, gore-filled series for your 8 to 10 year old son to read, then get these books. I promise he won't put them down. I'm a 41 year old Mom and I was mesmerized by this young adult novel!

Daniel is a 15 year old Alien Hunter and boy, is he ever good at what he does! With the help of a team of conjured experts, he is able to track down, outwit and overpower the featured alien in each book. I can hardly wait to read the next one!

In this particular edition, Daniel goes up against his toughest alien yet and is almost defeated many times in some nail-biting scenes. It makes me worried for what's to come!

As with Mr. Patterson's Maximum Ride series, there is no urgent need to read the first novel as he artfully catches you up without repeating too much from the previous novel. This is one thing I appreciate very much about his writing.

The chapters are very short, so as to keep the attention of even the most disinterested reader and what an accomplishment for a non reader to say they've read a 90 chapter book! There's a definite "squick" factor when it comes to the battle scenes as Mr. Patterson very vividly describes them which had me wishing my imagination wasn't so active at times, tee hee!

If you are looking for an interesting and exciting read for your child, not just your son, then this is the series to get them started on. There are some words which may be difficult for earlier readers, so a parent might want to follow along, but other than that, hang on to your hats because it's one heckuva ride!

So. Excited.

Tomorrow I get to meet this lady. I am bursting at the seams with excitement! There will be more about this after the weekend. I promise.

The Graduate

I didn't expect to get so emotional at Hannah's high school graduation ceremony last night, but when they presented the Class of 2009, my eyes welled up and my face got all wobbly as I tried to contain myself. It really hit me. This beautiful creature that I seemingly just birthed yesterday is now on the cusp of adulthood. Striding across the stage in her four inch heels, towering above most of her classmates, I felt a strange mixture of emotions; sadness, pride, appreciation that I have had the privilege of getting her this far (not without the help of others) and honour in knowing her at all.



Hannah and I had a rough start to her life. I was not much older than she is now when I gave birth to her. Without beleaguering the point, her biological donor and I split up when I was 8 months pregnant. It was one of the most stressful times in my life and I do believe she saved my life. At night, when my emotions would get the better of me, she'd move around in my belly as though to say "it's okay mom, I'm here" and then she'd grow very still, calm. She was, is and always will be the first true love of my life. This is not the same love you feel for your own parents, or your siblings or your spouse. It goes so much deeper because she is a part of me. She shares half the same chromosomes as me (well, so does my twin but that's different!) Without the unconditional support of my parents and siblings, I would not have made it through the first year of Hannah's life on my own. I am forever grateful to them. She shares very special bonds with her grandparents and her aunts and uncles.



As Hannah began to change and grow, I vowed to myself that she would be an independent person and be self-reliant. She has more than exceeded my expectations. She became a sweet personality, eager to please and fun to be around. She shares my quirky sense of humour and sometimes only a phrase ("Razzle Dazzle") will set us to giggles. I can recall her being about two or three and holding a flashlight under her chin, saying "I'm the lepterchaun" in her most menacing voice. That memory will always make me smile!



I could not have asked for a better child to raise for the first time. Everyone she touches tells me how much they love her and how kind and sweet she is. People loved having her for sleepovers because she was well-behaved and respectful. She is playful, energetic and fun. She has a compassionate heart and a strong mind. She has always acted much older than her age and while I think that may be because of her early circumstances, it is not a bad trait to have.



She will be attending University on the other side of the country come September. I don't know how I will endure her being that far away, not able to rush to her side for any perceived crisis or thing, or just to hang out. My heart scrinches up whenever I think about it. I think I'll wait until that time before I get too freaked out.

For now, brimming with pride, I'll just sit back and admire the woman she is becoming and envision what the future holds for her.

Hannah, I love you my baby, my beautiful girl. I'll always be here for you.

Makin' Changes

For a good six weeks at least, probably since I last made a post here, I've been doing my very best to exercise at least five times a week. It all started when quite inadvertently I discovered I had some residual diastasis in my abdomen (the separation of muscles that occurs during pregnancy). I had been cuddling in bed with Hayden and went to sit up. As I did so, I had put my hand on my stomach and was horrified when my fingers sank into my middle. Shudder.

After some research, it became evident to me why any exercise I had done over the last few years had really had no impact whatsoever on my midriff. Any abdominal exercise I had done had only served to maintain the diastasis. Yuck.

I found a fabulous book, Lose Your Mummy Tummy, by Julie Tupler. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is pregnant, post-partum or has a diastasis. Julie's exercises are easy to do and all it takes it a little stick-to-itiveness to get back on track. Of course, be sure to consult your doctor ahead of time.

While it took a little less than the six weeks Julie recommends to repair it (mine was pretty minor as it turns out), I kept at it and have just now begun to reintegrate abdominal exercises into my workout routine. The nicest thing about this is that it got the ball rolling and I am now in a place where I enjoy my workout and look forward to it. In fact, I rarely am able to exercise on the weekend and I find I quite miss it.

I started with just fat burning on the elliptical machine. I had decided that since music did nothing to motivate me to exercise that I would try something different. I carted out my Buffy Season Seven and watched those on the portable DVD player while I worked out. And like magic the time flies by and I barely notice the agony of working out, as long as I am watching something high action. From a year ago when we purchaed the elliptical to now (with huge lapses in between because of my cosmetic surgery), where I could only do about 3 minutes on it, I can now easily do 30 and sometimes more. I am not at a super high level but I am proud of myself for doing this much.

Recently in an effort to head off batwing arms at the pass, I have started doing some arm exercises on the BowFlex. Thanks to Laura, who is my go-to person for all sorts of things, she has helped suggest some good ones for me and I hope they work.

I have done some serious self-talk and convinced myself that this will take time, results will not be immediate. I have set a year deadline before I start to freak out. I want to point out that it has been suggested to me in the past by various fitness trainers that once a woman crosses thiry-five, it "becomes twice as hard" to lose weight/tone up, etc. I feel fitness trainers do women a disservice everywhere by sending them this message, because personally I had the "why bother then?" attitude. If it's going to be that much harder, why even start? But the fact that I can do my entire workout without taking Ventolin, have a lot more energy and generally feel healthier speaks in volumes to me. I have also incorporated my own high fibre/high protein style of eating into this and have significantly cut out refined white sugar (candy and pop) and carbs (chips and other starches). That is not to say that I don't eat them ever. A person has to enjoy their life at the same time. But I am cautious to not overdo it and usually I find I don't enjoy the treat as much because of the guilt that goes along with it.

Not all of this has been terrific. As I have fought to strengthen my abdominal muscles, the layer of fat over my stomach has gotten jigglier. This is because my muscles aren't pooching out as much any more (I consciously activate them whenever I can), so nothing is supporting the fat. I was quite dismayed at this until I figured it out, which is why I am still intensely trying to fat burn as much as possible.

Anyway, I'll try and mark my progress here when I think of it, but I have also been limiting my computer and television time. I have been really struggling with a lot of sciatic pain in my right side (chiropractic has done nothing for it) and sitting for extended periods of time only aggravates it.

In other news, Hayden is now able to spell and I believe is just starting to write letters...and he's not even four yet! I went for parent observation at his preschool the other day and he spelled 16 three letter words as I watched! I was mightily impressed and really hope he will be just as avid a reader as the rest of the family. Boys don't always have the same amount of interest in reading as girls do. By the next day, the teachers informed me he was beginning to spell four letter words. Yes!

My beautiful Hannah is graduating from high school and will be off to Concordia University in Montreal in the fall! Gulp! I don't know quite what to think of it. She did get accepted into three universities here as well, so we'll see what happens, but right now Concordia is pretty high on her list. And, um, who doesn't want to go to Montreal? I love it there, so I don't blame her!

Miss Kestrel is reading like a house on fire now. Once she got the basics there was no stopping her! She reads well above her age level and I am so happy abou that. She also has flow when she reads and is not stilted, which indicates to me that she is mastering reading ahead. Yay Kes!

The weather here is fantastic, so I am going to go and enjoy it now!

Wait!

My Google obsession comes to fruition!!

Phoenix

So this was going to be a blog post about the band Phoenix and how great they are (and it still will be), but now I have to have a bit of rant.

A nice man named Pascal kindly forwarded me the html for the Phoenix SNL videos that I mentioned yesterday. Alas, they were still inoperable. How is it possible that the actual band can't put their own performance on to their own website without NBC screwing them over?

Correct me if I am wrong, but I paid my cable bill to see the very crappy SNL show that was put on, with the only saving grace being Phoenix. I'm pretty sure that the network got paid its bajillion dollars to put on said disappointing show. If this is a matter of music copyright, then why would NBC care if Phoenix wanted to show the world their performance?

I'm starting to get very confused about these copyright laws. Does this mean that if I buy an album for my own listening pleasure, I'm not allowed to let anyone else listen to it? Is there some way that Big Brother can monitor every wedding, high school graduation and retirement so that the music companies (not the artists, mind you) get their 12 cents per play? (Why yes, yes there is!) I don't get it. Are music stores not supposed to play the music in their stores? Like, where does it end?

I'd really like to see some numbers on how record sales have been affected since the beginning of the MP3. I don't believe the invention of the cassette tape killed the music industry, did it? Are people not still buying concert tickets? I can't tell you how big of a collection of CDs I have where I have only ever listened to one song. I believe the music mucky mucks got their pound of flesh for those. Thanks for producing crap, by the way.

Anyway, Phoenix is the opposite of merde and I hope that somehow, some way you can see them or hear them perform. They have a fresh sound that is danceable and fun. Next thing we have to do it get them to Vancouver. My inner francophile is anxiously awaiting their arrival!

Acceptance

Well, in true Hamster Boy fashion, acceptance comes easy to him. The second night of bracing was back to how it had always been. He called me early in the evening to take him to the bathroom and I took him again later. He did wake up at some point and call me, so I stumbled in there and ended up crashing with him, squeezed beside him on a tiny flat pillow with a blanket over my feet. Awesome. We're back to that, are we? Ah well, the more I deal with this, the more I just need to find my Zen about it. We're talking about his future here and his ability to walk. Nothing will stop me from making it go as smoothly for him as possible and I will fight tooth and nail to avoid surgery on this kid's feet.

I did end up sending an email to RCH commending them for their super emergency department and got three responses and a request to reprint the email in their newsletter with my name! Hopefully this will help keep this system going!

In the meantime, I am really grooving on this group that played on Saturday Night Live this weekend, called Phoenix. The show itself tanked miserably in my opinion. It was possibly the unfunniest SNL I've ever seen. BUT, surprisingly the band was great and I rarely listen to the music portion as it is always some group I can't stand. Of course, once I found out these guys are Parisian, so much the better. Their upcoming new album is due out on May 25 or 26th, depending where you read the date and is called Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. I can't wait! (Sorry, I wanted to link to a video but NBC already took them all down - BOOOOOOOO!)

One last thing. Who looks completely adorable pregnant? SHE DOES (my favourite lady with the pink hair!):

The Neverending Story...

Oh where to begin? I think this is the stage where most parents of a clubfoot kid start to wear down and the whole idea gets a little thin. But when I think hard enough about that, I realize that we are really not even one third of the way through this, since this will be ongoing until he is 15.

On Saturday morning around 3am, I awake to the sounds of Hayden coming into our room. Since we stopped using the brace three weeks ago, this is not unusual. He can make many visits in a night and is usually returned to his room as he drives me completely batshit crazy in my bed. I can hear him muttering and as I open my eyes I realize I can't see him anywhere. I soon discover he is on the floor crawling and complaining about his foot, "ouch.....my foot....hurts so much..." In my sleep deprived state, I figure his foot has fallen asleep from perhaps sleeping on it funny or some-such and haul him into my bed for a quick cuddle before I take him back.

5am. Repeat. This time I let him come into the bed, so I can maybe get some frickin' sleep and he lasts about an hour before husband and I are wanting to axe murder him. There is much tossing-turning, whispering, pulling and breaking of my hair. Husband takes him back to bed, where he immediately and loudly notifies us he is disgruntled. Heavy on the gruntle.

About half an hour later I hear him again. This time he is trying to go to the bathroom and it is abundantly obvious something is wrong with his foot. I get up to investigate and husband joins me. We take him downstairs to check it out. I thoroughly inspect his foot for......what? I see no bruising, no swelling, so sign of anything amiss. I try to think back to the previous day. No easy task when my brain is still mush. Nope. Nada.

He positively refuses to put any weight on the foot and tells me it hurts when I apply pressure to the bone on the top of the foot (the talus). Now I am concerned. He's been out of the brace for about three weeks and I'm thinking it could be a relapse. Husband and I hem and haw about what to do, but we decide to give it a couple of hours. Fast forward to mid morning and there is no improvement. We decide he needs to go to the hospital. Here's where I break into a cold sweat thinking about the fabulous BC Children's Hospital Emergency (heavy on the sarcasm) department where you are guaranteed a surly triage nurse, a three hour wait minimum in the waiting area and a cesspool of disgusting sick people whose kids only have the flu and should not be there, but insist on touching every toy and surface with their germy, snotty hands. Shudder.

Then I twig on the brilliant idea of taking him to Royal Columbian Hospital Emergency because that's where Dr. Pirani's clinic is and if he ends up needing to see him, then the x-rays and whatever are already there! Inspired! It's about a twenty minute drive compared to the two minute drive, but the highway is clear and it's smooth sailing.

Here's where I put in a plug for one of the best emergency departments I have ever encountered. I arrive and check in with the receptionist in emergency. She takes Hayden's medical number and checks to make sure all of our information is still current. She puts a bracelet on him. We are directed to wait in the designated area and a triage nurse will call us shortly. Hayden has to go to the bathroom, of course so we trudge to the other end of the long hallway because the closest bathroom is being renovated. Naturally they call us while we are doing that, but another mother kindly informs me, so I let the nurse know we are back.

We get called to triage and she takes more detailed medical info, asks what the trouble is and takes Hayden's vitals. Back to the waiting area. This is all in a relatively small zone, so it's not like you are hiking back and forth anywhere. After a few minutes the admitting nurse calls us and she prints out the paperwork and directs us to an area called "the minor treatment waiting area". Now think about this for a minute and bask in the excellence that is order and intelligence. Does it not make sense to separate the heart attacks and amputees from the dog bites and minor spills? Sure does to me!

Once settled in there amongst a few others, a nurse comes in and tells another patient her ultrasound is scheduled for 3:30. What?!?! They give you a time?!?!? What kind of magical efficiency is this? Are demons at play? No, I think that somewhere along the way someone figured out that the primary cause of anxiety in the waiting room of a hospital is the waiting. And the not knowing. It seems about five or ten minutes before the kindly nurse escorts Hayden and I to the paediatric area and we are given a room. Hayden is stoked about the "high up bed" and he is content to read his I Spy books and munch on some snacks while we wait.

Presently a doctor turns up and checks him out and decides an x-ray will be in order. Minutes later an orderly arrives with a wheeled chair which Hayden thinks is awesome and he is wrapped in a blanket for the little journey to radiology. Throw Hayden into a room with three cute, young and female x-ray technicians and what do you think happens? The charm is oozing from his pores! The photos get taken and we're back to the little room. Approximately five minutes or so later, the nurse comes in and informs me that she has asked the doctor to look at the x-rays, which leads me to suspect it is the nurses who keep this system flowing since they are the ones who get yelled at the most.

The doctor returns and informs me that nothing has turned up on the pictures, to just keep an eye on him for the next couple of days and come back if it doesn't improve. So, it's a complete mystery still, but I am so impressed with the fact that we made it in and out of there in one and three quarter hours that I don't care! I have never left a hospital emergency before the three hour mark. Ever. Hayden spends the rest of the day and evening crawling around, or having one of us carry him. Did I mention he's about 45 pounds?

The next morning he manages to put weight on it, but is limping heavily. He's doesn't seem to be in tremendous pain, but it clearly is bothering him. Poor little fella. It would help if we knew what it was. In the meantime I have contacted Dr. Pirani's secretary (who is also a friend) and have told her I am going to have to bring him to the clubfoot clinic on Monday. She says that is fine, but warns me it might be especially nutty there and says I should come closer to the last appointment. This works out fine because husband needs the car and can drop us off on the way.

But for the rest of Sunday, I am scrutinizing Hayden's foot and worrying and wondering. Husband and I are already deciding he has to go back in the brace and a few things actually twig in my mind. First of all, Hayden has had major growth since September. He has grown two sizes in clothing and although his foot size hasn't changed much, I feel it would still affect his Achilles' tendons. I remember that an experienced mom once told me to watch out for the growth spurts because this is a common time for relapse. And now am I just being paranoid, or is his foot actually looking curved after only three weeks out of the brace? Second, I remember that the style of orthopaedic shoes Hayden wears has developed a quick release system to remove the bar from the shoes. We haven't been using it because we still have the old style of shoes that don't work with this system. But since part of our reasoning for taking him out of the brace has been that it is really hard to haul him out of a bottom bunk that has a side rail when he is dead asleep and wearing a dangling contraption from his feet, this would alleviate that issue somewhat. *palm to forehead*

The actual wait time on Monday ends up only being about an hour, which is fabulous. Dr. Pirani checks him all out and asks a bunch of questions about the foot that was bothering him. Hayden performs wonderfully and seems to have no pain at all even though he has still been favouring the foot. Dr. Pirani asks about the bracing and I tell him we did take him out of it but are going to put him back in. I also mention that the foot looks curved to me and his expression says everything. Dr. Pirani is a person that can give you a look and you know exactly what he is thinking. So now I know - the foot is curved slightly and bracing is back in order. Considering I am prepared for the worst, such as casts again, this is okay with me. We still do not have an answer as to what occurred with his foot on Saturday. My best guess is that when he hopped out of bed that morning, he turned it and strained it. One would expect a kid to cry if that happened, but time and again, Hayden has proven he's a tough kid. He will often not cry at tumbles and spills. I'm so used to girls who cry over paper cuts that this is definitely a new experience.

In the meantime, putting his brace back on last night proved to be an exercise in heartbreak. He was devastated. His cry just pierced my heart and I found myself promising him everything under the sun, just to make it ok. We have set up a reward system for him and we'll see how that goes. Around 11:30 he woke up and wanted them off, and the way he asked in such a tearful voice I almost removed them. But he was satisfied with me loosening them slightly and made it the rest of the night. I am happy if he gets ten hours a night in them. I am less than pleased that this will no doubt affect his (and my) sleep pattern again, but for this kid to have straight feet and no surgery I will undergo water torture if I have to.

So for now, back to the drawing board.

Update on Yesterday

Hey, guess what? 4:40 am still feels exactly like 3:40 am when one is disturbed! (mutters..."stupid time change"...mutters)

Well, two posts in two days? I'd better not get your hopes up!

Since it was snowing like a mother trucker yesterday, I decided it would be best if Hayden and I caught rapid transit to the hospital as it goes straight there...if you get the right train. Not having been on the Skytrain in some time, I was merrily riding along and then suddenly realized I was on the bridge over to Surrey in the complete wrong direction of the hospital. Sigh. Get off at first available stop, walk across platform, wait for another train, get on and ride back to previous stop where I should have transferred were I not on the correct train, which I was not.

As that particular stop is not a walk across platform, I had to drag Hayden down a flight of stairs, walk across to the other side, back up another flight of stairs and wait for the next right train. We made it to the hospital about 15 minutes late. No big whoop since we would never have gotten in at that time. That's what I am telling myself. At least, thankfully, the overhead walkway has returned to that stop. They had removed it to put in a building and had erected a steel staircase forcing you to go down about 50 steps and then walk up an excruciatingly steep hill.

Registration was a nightmare. I have never seen it backed up like that before. Where I usually pluck number 5 or 6 from the box, I got number 31 and they were on 23 when I arrived. In fact, it was so busy it took me quite some time to notice the man who was handcuffed and shackled sitting in the corner with his two corrections officers. I wondered why I didn't spot his bright red jumper earlier on? While waiting, I took a peek at the clubfoot clinic waiting room too see how bad it was and it was bad. Basically the waiting area is a hallway and it was full to capacity.

Once we finally got into the waiting zone it was almost 12. Our appointment was for 11. I proceeded to feed Hayden all of the snacks I had brought and ran to the gift shop for some other things. I was too afraid to head over to the Tim Horton's as I kept expecting them to call for us. Turns out, I could have gone there a couple of times because we didn't get called in until 3. Yep, in the afternoon. Let me fast forward this a little bit.

More waiting inside the clinic, doctor comes and shows in two students who he leaves with us for awhile, finally he returns. After examining Hayden's feet, he informs me - to my absolute shock - that Hayden has lost ground since the last visit in July. WHAT??

It turns out that Hayden has lost about 5% of his dorsiflexion on both sides, which is not good. It's not dire either, but it will have to be monitored. (To know what dorsiflexion is, stick a foot out in front of you and point your toes up - you are now dorsiflexed) There were even some changes in his x-rays and that was surprising, too. We haven't changed anything about what we have been doing over the last 8 months, except for very recently he was having the occasional night out of the brace. We can only guess it is because Hayden has grown quite a lot in the last six months. At the beginning of the school year I bought him size 4 pajamas and he could now easily wear a 5, if not a 6.

So here's where we stand. I felt that based on what Dr. Pirani said to me that he was going to release Hayden from the brace in June anyway. The risk of relapse falls only another 5 percent after age 4 and never drops to 0, until they have reached skeletal maturity (age 15). There will always be a risk of relapse for Hayden and what the doctor said was if he is going to relapse, he's going to relapse, whether we take him out of the brace now or in June. He left it in our hands, basically. He also cautioned that taking him out of the brace now would make it harder to put him back in it later. I am okay with this as I am well versed in the machinations of preschoolers and their torture methods. My skin is thick if that ends up being the case.

Now, after I saw him, I had a discussion with Lisa, the orthotist (who I love). She was a little more optomistic and said that she felt Hayden is a 50/50 kid and there is no guarantee that he is going to relapse. She suggested stretches and exercises designed to stretch out the Achilles' tendon, which we will definitely do. Also, running around on the beach in Hawaii will be excellent for him, so maybe we can write this trip off as medical? Har.

Here's the thing. Hayden's feet were terrible at birth. Here is a photo:

We are lucky to have come this far without more complications. If it is the case that he will relapse, I am 100% confident that Dr. Pirani will do everything he can to avoid surgery, as he has already done. He would recast, re-do the tenotomy if necessary and re-brace him before he ever cut open his feet. So, whatever happens, happens. We will do our best to avoid it, but it really is out of our hands.

We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Blog Lapse...

...to say WHAT THE HECK? Snow. In Vancouver. In March. Did someone wind back the calendar? Because the last I checked we JUST put the clocks forward, which would actually put us one hour closer to Spring!

Ah well, I'm sure the rain will be on its heels and it will all be gone in no time. Maybe.

So I've been very quiet and mostly that is because I haven't had much to say. But one piece of good news: my youngest brother and his wife had a baby boy on February 16th. He came about 6 days early and is absolutely beautiful. I am so happy for them!

Today Hayden and I head to see Dr. Pirani and I am about to ask him something I never thought I would before Hayden turned four. I am going to ask if it is okay for Hayden to stop wearing his brace a few months early. I know! Hayden will be four in about three and a half months, or 101 days if you want to be exact, so it's not like it's a year or something.

We have been having endless problems over the last couple of months with Hayden not being able to take himself to the bathroom in the night because he can't get out of bed with the brace on. And even though we wake him twice a night and at the expense of our backs, lug him to the toilet in his brace, he can still wake up as he is peeing. We also feel the brace is affecting his sleep now. I mean, think about it. At night you tend to swell up from being all warm and cozy. Imagine shoes strapped tight on your feet and think how that might disturb your sleep?

The last visit we had with Dr. Pirani and the more recent visit we had with Lisa (the orthotist), Hayden's feet are showing no sign of relapse.We did have orthotics made for him because of his non-existent arch (you should see them they are so cute!) and those have been fine. He didn't even notice them in his shoes. Lisa pointed out one potential concern that I am going to address with Dr. P today, so we'll see what happens. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high and if the answer is no, then so be it. We only have a few more months anyway. But it would be nice to not have to bring them to Maui with us.

Oh hey! We're going to Maui! On Thursday! Away from the snow! Frankly, all I can think about right now is getting the actual trip out of the way before I can feel relaxed and happy to be in warmer climates. And speaking of that, I had to do the dreaded bathing suit shop. I had heard of a store way in the middle of nowhere that had about 50 different brands of swimsuits. So I rounded up the neighbour and we drove out there yesterday. Thank goodness for Mapquest and GPS is all I can say because it was a long drive. BUT, the store did not disappoint - there were many, many swimsuits! I managed to find a tankini that did not make me look like a sausage and it also has a built-in bra to support the girls, so that was good. My friend managed to find something even cuter. She's quite a bit skinnier than me, so it looked adorable on her. They even had the 2008 models on sale. Did you know that swimsuits are like cars?

I have to say the prices were medium to WTF? Like, for a little filmy cover up skirt, I am not going to pay $50. There is just no way, when I can head to the local fabric store and get a whole yard of the same fabric for $10 or less. But, making an actual swimsuit would be much trickier so I am willing to pay a bit more for that. All in all, a good trip and now I know where it is!

Of course looking out the window and the snow, it feels weird to think I will be wearing a bathing suit in just a few days.

We now return you to your regular programming.

...snow...Snow...SNOW!

I seem to be the only person in my universe that is getting a kick out of all the snow here. I mean, c'mon people - this only happens once every FORTY YEARS here! Forty years ago I was a newborn and therefore could not appreciate this kind of fantastic weather.

Admittedly, we are not equipped for this type of weather here in Vancouver. We have, what? Six snowplows to service the whole city? And I think I've seen only one of them go by, ONCE. (and it was not on our street) I know you're part of a union, City of V, but hire some folks with their snow blowers or something, m'kay? EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT!

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy being OUT in the snow other than to take a nice brisk walk and enjoy the quiet. But I could sit at a window, while it's dark and all the street lamps are on, and watch it for hours. Of course I got immense entertainment from watching the drivers frantically trying to get up the steep main drag by our place the other night. Well, I felt bad for them anyway. What ponders me is why go out? What is so important in their world that they can't stay put? I'd love to be able to read minds and find out.

Several days back Laini Taylor (my favourite author) posted a video of what was going on in Portland. It might have been hilarious had it not been so horrifying! I haven't seen any of that sort of thing here on our street, but many many people have been stuck. We've broken the windshield wipers on our van and have to wait a jillion years for the parts to come in. (aside: Why is that? Why is it that the dealerships NEVER have the piece you need?) My husband is having a stroke that the snow isn't gone yet. I claim he has PTSD from all the years he had to deal with this in Montreal. A kind of snow shellshock, you might say.

In other news, I finally got Hamster Boy the proper boy haircut he needed (photos will follow when I find a camera to take some). It was getting really bushy and long and we hadn't really been giving him proper haircuts yet, more like trims. And then a bunch of our friends came over and two of the boys (age 9-11 range) that came had such long hair they looked like street urchins. It kind of sicked me out. It might have looked better if it was washed or combed, but I decided then and there that Hayden was getting his CHOPPED. And boy is it ever!

On the knitting front, I finally finished a project I started over three years ago and gave up on. After many hours of struggling to complete it, it's done. And I kind of hate it now. I'm not happy with how it turned out at all. Sigh. Waste of yarn. This is why I don't make things for myself. The amount of time and love you pour into it and you could have bought it at Winners for one nth of the price it cost you to make. Bah!

Back to school today! The last couple of days have dragged considerably and Momma needs a break. And what fun thing do I get to do today? Go to the dentist! I have a tooth that's driving me nuts and it has to get fixed NOW. Wheee!

I'm off then.

Oh Man Am I Waxing Romantic Today

Snow has this strange effect on me. It makes me feel a little hysterical and I mean that in a good way. I truly get to experience "mixed emotions" on a day like this; where I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. Even the grumps who complain about the snow (and believe me, there are many) can't get me down. No, I don't like to be cold and I don't particularly enjoy being out in the snow for extended periods of time, but I could sit at the window and watch all day and night.

It just feels so.....magical to me. I rewind in my mind to childhood and let myself feel the wonder of it over and over again.

I like what it does to me.