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Sunday, October 02, 2005


So I guess that Sundays are my hard day. Last night was tough. Hayden wouldn't go to sleep and was very agitated. I was having a hard time figuring out what was wrong with him, since he kept drifting off and then waking up again, which is unusual. Finally I was getting so mad that it was clouding my ability to help him. I gave him some Ovol drops and then came downstairs and sat in front of the computer for awhile and then he finally went to sleep, so I guess it was gas. Then he was awake pretty much once an hour after around 2:30 I think (can't even remember). Add to that the fact that Doug was snoring like a psycho again and I am very exhausted today. I hate it when I tell him he was snoring and he says "I was so tired/so exhausted last night". And I'm what?!?!?!? I'm not tired? That is supposed to make me go "Oh, well, you were TIRED! Why didn't you SAY so?" Is that supposed to make it alright and make me shut up?

Not only that, but the family pretty much didn't see Doug all day until dinnertime, where he proceeded to treat Kes like crap. I actually felt sorry for her because even though she was being annoying, she was being a typical three year old, running around and laughing. He kept shushing her very loudly, making her stay on the couch, threatening her and putting her into time out. Finally I took her upstairs and she watched a movie (Aristocats, my fave) and played with her sticker book while I figured out how to make underwear out of my old t-shirts that don't fit anymore.

And now today, we're supposed to go to Brad and Gary's where they have a KAJILLION things she'll want to touch and a very nice, but delicate garden that she'll want to rip through and he'll be all "fed up" with her as usual. She doesn't need any more negative attention from either of us this weekend. Can you tell my guilt is hanging around my neck like an albatross?

I am also frustrated because I NEVER have the car when I want it. I have things I want to do during this week and I can't because he'll have the van every day pretty much. His tendency is to go "well just grab a cab" like that makes it okay because we can afford it. It's not about the luxury of touring around in a cab, it's the fact that I have to tack on a minimum of an extra hour to wait for cabs to show up because Lord knows we live in New York City where cabs are impossible to obtain. Does he EVER have to shift his life like this? NOPE. By the time I have my own vehicle, I won't need it because the kids will all be grown up and I'll be a doddering old grandma on the bus.


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