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Monday, November 21, 2005

Jean Angst

With the weather growing colder I have been wanting a nice comfy pair of jeans to climb into so that I can be warmer outside. I recently purged my wardrobe of all maternity clothes because I need the incentive to lose some weight and either get new clothes or get back into the old ones. Except that it left me with about three things to wear and I also have a bout 30 pounds to go before I'll be happy.

I watched the Oprah episode about finding the right bra/jeans and noticed that she only put designer jeans on the volunteers. I figure why would I spend $150 on a pair of jeans that I might only wear a short while and then lose weight? So I decided to venture off to the GAP, because they have lots of stuff and I thought I'd find something. When I arrived I discovered they had this new line called "Curvy". Perfect! I'm curvy! So I grabbed a couple of pairs and venture into the change room, feeling optimistic. Fast forward to several minutes later. Crap. Why is everything still low rise? Sure, the jeans fit (in the largest size I grabbed, I might add), but as soon as I sat down, they fell off my butt and I could feel a big old breeze flowing down my crack. Okay - maybe this style won't work for me. So I decided to try something else. I grabbed a few pairs of jeans, one size apart. The smaller size - too small. The larger size - too big. There is no in between size. So I cried for awhile in the change room and left. Guess I'll be looking for those DKNY jeans after all - 'cuz Oprah promised they'd fit.

I also need new boots - which brings on a whole new set of anxiety and depression because I have clodhoppers and pretty much never find the boots/shoes I want in my size. Sigh.

And speaking of embarrassing moments, yesterday I was on the Skytrain with Laura. We were returning from an unfruitful trip, where we went out to the Quay for a specific store that no longer exists. While on the train, I was sitting on one of the fold down seats. I stood to attend to Hayden for a moment and went to sit back down, forgetting that the seat folded back up and WHAM! I hit the floor. Not only that, I NAILED my head on the seat on my way down. I wanted to burst into tears because it hurt so bad, but there was a whole Skytrain full of people trying not to laugh at me and I thought it better to just laugh it off. Laura asked if I was okay and I said yeahIhitmyheadbutI'mfine.

On the way home, the back of my head just stung. It didn't throb or ache, it stung. By the time I made it home, I had a nasty headache. Then my husband was annoyed because I didn't want to go out grocery shopping and he had to. Later in bed I felt nauseous and the Tylenol wasn't working. I didn't ice it, which I should have, but try doing anything in this house for yourself without a kid bothering you. Today it still hurts and I have taken more Tylenol, so I hope it goes away. The worst of it was the embarrassment. I felt like I was thirteen.

And the coughing still in my house right now. Since June, there has been coughing and now there is more. It never left - it just rotated between us. I'm so tired of the sound of coughing. And snoring.

This post is depressing. Here's something to lighten it up:

2 comments:

Deb said...

Try Old Navy Jeans. They have tons of styles, including ones that aren't low rise and you can find them in tall sizes. Cheap too.

Laura said...

What a cute nightgown! I love it!

And not everyone was trying not to laugh at you - I would say most of them were oblivious, as people tend to be on public transport, and there was the one guy kinda smiling but not in a 'ha ha she fell' kind of way, more like he felt bad for you and was giving you a sympathetic grin. Besides, you'll never see any of those people again. I missed the actual fall (just looked up when I heard the 'CRACK!' of your head and saw you on the floor), so maybe they all did too.

Bygones, baby!

Oh - and the whole 'breeze flowing down my crack' - priceless! How do women wear those?!! With no panties, nonetheless? Ewwwww! Plumber's butt!

 
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