A Hard Hard Day

Tuesdays are always such a hard day that I didn't really feel like writing. I removed Hayden's casts and he was fussier about it than usual. The bath was hard - he cried a lot and every time I went near his left foot, he shrieked in pain. It was really painful in my heart. I took Hayden up to Children's for the usual and on the way, he had spit up so many times and also filled his diaper that the first order of priority was to change him, which it usually is. I got him all cleaned up and put on a new outfit and nursed him while waiting for our turn. He had a major poo-splosion and it was all up his back, so back we went to the table for changing.

While there, he got upset because I was touching his legs again and he peed all over me and the table. Got outfit number three on him and as soon as I picked him up, he puked all over the two of us. This was all within a half hour span. There's a reason my diaper bag is so heavy. I bring at least twelve spit-up cloths and four changes of clothes. I also learned my lesson about bringing enough diapers so I bring at least eight.

While I was waiting, I talked to another mom whose little girl is the same age as Hayden, but she is tiny! She has the double club feet as well and we were saying how we don't find this process getting any easier each week. In fact, I find it more and more stressful. Thank god he won't remember any of it. Another mom came in from the cast room in tears and called her husband to tell him that their little girl needed re-casting. She was very upset and we could hear the kid SCREAMING in the next room. It was awful. Hayden and I got called in and the little girl was around two years old and was fighting with all her might against the casts. I could tell that Dr. Alvarez was pretty stressed out.

She got to us and he wound it up like always. I asked her if he was going to need more Botox and she said there is a strong possibility. I am braced for the fact that he may require surgery along the way, due to the severity of his feet. I think this will be quite a long battle. In the meantime, he was screaming so hard that I thought he was going to pass out. When it was all over, he went into this trance-like state for a few minutes, like he had just shut down. After that he slept for about three and a half hours. And most of that time, it was on my chest.

My friend Ken came over to drop off a belated birthday gift for Hannah and ended up staying for what seemed like forever. The whole day was a write off. I am going to spend today recovering.