Six Months

Dear Hayden,

Today you are six months old. I apologize that this is the first time I am writing a letter of this sort, but your short little life has been a whirlwind of activity and there just has not been the time to think it through for me and what I would like to say.

Six months ago today, you literally burst into our lives and I can remember exactly how I felt at that very instant. Elation, joy, a huge infusion of love and relief that you were finally here. You are the only one of my babies who decided to stay in longer than a couple of days past your due date. I was convinced that you were going to arrive early and therefore left work early in preparation for you, but you deceived me! I already knew you were a little boy and when I found out I was very surprised because I expected another girl. I will even venture to say that I was a tiny bit disappointed to begin with, until I was given a few weeks to think about it. I don't want you to think that I didn't want a boy at all, I just was so used to little girls that I wasn't sure how different it would be. But it didn't matter in the long run because I already loved you so much.

During your little half year of life you have endured a great many things. You have had a form of Whooping Cough, eczema, a blocked tear duct, another viral respiratory infection and the stomach flu. But the hardest thing has been your feet.

On the day you were born, you came to us with an unexpected condition called idiopathic bilateral clubfoot. I noticed it immediately when they placed you on my tummy. Your little feet looked crooked and curled. The thing of it is, I was so happy to have you here and not have a surgical birth, that I didn't even feel upset or scared about it. Something in the back of my head told me it was clubfoot and that it was treatable so I decided to just be happy about you being here.

You have been through a lot my little bubble-boo. There has been many, many casts, Botox injections, boots and bars and a tenotomy. We switched doctors when you were four months old because it wasn't going well at the other hospital. It is going much better now and we hope to see you up on your feet early in the New Year. You have been very patient about all of this and since you think this is normal, the only person who is going to need therapy down the road is me!

You have figured out how to roll over even though you can't bend your knees. You recently got two teeth and they are starting to get bigger and look so cute in your mouth! What a difference they make to your appearance! You can shake your head no and you think most things are funny and you smile and laugh often. You can be very placid and the only major complaint I would have about you is the fact that you don't sleep much and if you do, it has to be on me.

You are a big boy. You are about 23 pounds now and are very heavy to hold on to! People often admire your size and lots of people comment on your blue eyes! I got a blue eyed boy - hooray!

You have changed my life in amazing ways. I am so happy now that I have had the experience of raising a son because you are unique and special in your own way. I can't wait to see how you are when you get older. You have been babbling a lot lately and will copy us if we do it back to you. Having to take you to so many appointments has taught me to be patient.

I love you so much and any time I feel discouraged or depressed, all it takes is a smile from you and everything is forgotten. I look forward to our future together, my son.