Feeling Better

Yesterday I felt like I had post traumatic stress almost all day. I had a knot of anxiety in my stomach and I noticed at one point I was shaking and my heart was beating really fast.

Today I feel much better. My mom just returned from an Alaskan cruise today and I got to talk to her about my brother and when he used to hold his breath. She said it was exactly the same. Initially, though, because he was younger when he started it, she thought he had just cried himself to sleep, not realizing he had passed out. I had no memories whatsoever of the clawed hands, but she told me he had indeed done that as well. Thankfully he outgrew it by the time he was four. So I am relieved, but not thrilled because there is a 99.9% chance that this will occur again and it is so much more frightening when it is your own child. I remember it kind of becoming old hat after awhile with Simon, but then mom said he only did it when he was hurt or hungry, never mad. So now we wait and we try not to panic when it happens again and we pray that it doesn't happen when he's not with us, or we are at someone else's house.

Doug spoke to a colleague whose daughter had also held her breath. She said that sometimes if you catch them early enough, you can distract them with something and interupt the process. I am going to be doing that, I can assure you.

Oh, and in addition to having a brother and an aunt who were breath-holders, it turns out one of my cousins also was. What a delightful family trait!