This Boy Will Be the Death of Me

This is the child that is going to cause all of my gray hair. This is the child that will hurt my heart and brain the most. And he's only one year old and a bit.

This last week has been less than pleasant. Hayden has been cutting all four of his first molars and has been a misery. About five days ago, I noticed he was running a slight fever and figured it was the teeth, so I began dosing him with Tylenol and Advil to give the poor guy a break. I did that for about three days; whenever I noticed he was warm, I dosed him. Day four, I removed his clothing for a bath and noticed his trunk, back, neck and chest were covered in a pink, slightly raised, bumpy rash. My first thought was measles, but hubby thought it might be hives and so we treated him with Benadryl and the next day it was gone, which was yesterday. In talking to my sister though, she said it very well could have been Roseola, which is the baby measles that there is no immunization for. After investigating further via Dr. Google, I sort of felt that was what it was in combination with the teeth. The symptoms are a high fever for several days, followed by a rash that disappears almost immediately. He never had the high fever, but I was dosing him pretty regularly with Tylenol and probably thwarted it, but the description of the rash definitely fit. Anyway, it will remain a mystery for the rest of his days.

But what I really want to tell you about is last night. Hannah's math tutor had just arrived and they were closed up in the kitchen. Thankfully we had all eaten and I was going to take the two little ones up for a bath shortly. Kes was watching t.v., I was knitting and Hayden was playing with the keyboard on the computer behind me. We've just had a reshuffle of computers, so the desk and computer are new and therefore have been very appealing to Hayden. I had blocked off the CPU with a small table and a Rubbermaid container and I thought he was just standing on the floor pushing the keys. All of a sudden I heard the keyboard tray slide in, a thunk and then looked back just as he was falling backwards off of the Rubbermaid container. I think he must have been kneeling on it because I would have noticed if he was standing. He started to cry right away and by the time I got around the couch, he was on his knees reaching up to me. He was crying really hard and I thought he had banged his head pretty hard. Thankfully we have soft wood floors with wood underlay and they do tend to echo quit a bit with an impact, so it always sounds worse than it is.

But he kept crying and I thought perhaps he was going to hold his breath. I have a brother who used to hold his breath until he passed out. But he became more and more rigid, his neck started craning back as far as it would stretch with his mouth contorting oddly and his left hand began to take the shape of a claw. I started freaking out. I cannot tell you how many terrible thoughts went through my head in that instant. I thought he was having a stroke. I started to call for Doug and head upstairs when he went completely limp and his eyes rolled up in his head and he did not appear to be breathing. Doug was in the attic and I was screaming for him as I ran up the stairs. Hayden was not moving, not breathing and his eyes kept rolling around and his eyelids fluttering. As Doug went to find the phone, I heard a tiny wheezing sound and realized he was breathing, but he was still limp, inert and unresponsive. We called the ambulance and went downstairs to wait. When Hannah saw him limp in my arms, she burst into tears which then triggered Kes to start screaming. I was yelling at Hannah to stop panicking and to look after Kes because I couldn't. I swear that was the longest wait of my life. For what seemed like a long time, Hayden just lay there in my arms, but at least his eyes were following me now. He looked completely waxy and would not move one single part of his body except for his eyes. When we finally heard the siren, he said "oh!" but still remained motionless. Just before they got to our door, he sat up.

They asked us what happened and we explained. The container is only a foot and a half high, so it was not a great fall and in retrospect, I think his body took most of the impact and made the most noise. They said it sounded like a typical head bonk and reassured us that he appeared fine, but his colour was not great and the fact that he was quite subdued warranted a ride in the ambulance. They have a special seatbelt restraint that they connect to the stretcher, so they buckled him all in, sitting up. He looked so cute! He was very quiet and subdued and still looked pale.

Long story short, we didn't wait too horribly long at the hospital (the advantage of arriving in the ambulance, I suppose) and the doctor eventually concluded that it was actually a breath-holding incident and not a head injury (the fact that he cried right away was a good sign). She said that even though it seemed like he was having a seizure or something, it was his body fighting for air and that is why he went so rigid and once she heard about my brother, she felt fairly certain. He was so good at the hospital and so was Kes.

I must tell you that there have been at least two other occasions in the past where I thought he might hold his breath, and now it seems the family torch may have been passed on. Thank you Simon! I hope and pray this is an isolated incident. I cannot tell you how many scary moments we had with my brother where he passed out. All we could do was lay him down and let it happen. People would be freaking out, but there was nothing to be done. One time when he came to he began hyperventilating and that was terribly scary for a fourteen year old!

Anyway, Hayden is totally fine today - still screaming to be at the computer and acting normally.

This boy will be the death of me.